My friends, they love my intelligence
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
