There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
