The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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