I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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