oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
