Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
