Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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