Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
