so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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