think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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