Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
