I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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