so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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