i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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