K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
