i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
