im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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