How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
