Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
BRING THE BAGELS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
