Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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