All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
