I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
