you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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