Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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