Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
