You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
