stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I touched a dick in church today
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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