idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
