i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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