Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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