My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
