i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
