i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
