it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
that may or may not have been my penis.
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