We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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