My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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