Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
