The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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