I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
