I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
