I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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