if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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