It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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