bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
