it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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