I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
