I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
