So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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