Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize