You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
