'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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