Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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