If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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