Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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