I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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