My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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