I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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