p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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