I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
